I should begin to write something about the past month. I haven't updated this blog in a while. I wanted to update it but for some reason I just didn't have the time to do it.
A lot of things have happened during this pas month. I've been away most of the time which was great. Just to be around different people other than my family can sometimes be a relief ;-) I love my family to death, don't get me wrong, but they are the kind of people that always tell you the truth no matter how harsh it actually is. I admire that but sometimes you just have to get out and have some time for yourself. When I was in London I really enjoyed walking there all by myself...I know it sounds weird in a way but I enjoyed seeing things I wanted to see. Going to St. Paul's cathedral and sitting on one of the benches in the cathedral made me feel peaceful. Okay, I know I'm not turning into some boring old lady, but I just liked walking there and sitting there. Looking at the architecture and just thinking about the fact how old this cathedral is. How people used to worship God in there (and still are worshipping God in there). Amazing to think that this is called the house of God. Even when we now know and say that God lives everywhere, not only in churches. An amazing church.
Anyway I actually should start at the beginning of this all. November 17th was the day that Soul Survivor conference rolled in. I am a big fan of those conferences, I like meeting new people and talking & praying with other christians. Before the conference I had this big crisis of faith, as how I like to call it. I was so stuck in my life, didn't know where to go and what to do, and what were God's plans for me??
Now and then you just come to a crossing in your path with God, and I came at a crossing. Which way was I suppose to go, what is God's plan for me. I seriously felt like I was walking into a wall. At the conference I finally realised that I had to let God in, I asked Him how he felt about me and what I should change in order to come more closer to Him. I got this vision of a tree. I really didn't know why I got that vision and I was thinking it over and over again. I know that I was praying to God to show me what I needed to get changed in order to grow in my faith and to be even more closer to Him. But why the tree? I was getting more and more confused until one of the speakers at the conference suddenly spoke that she got a vision of a tree (so I was pretty shocked) and then she told us that she saw that the tree was cutted down. And that in order to get closer to God we should cut ourselves from traditions and set ourselves free. I was even more shocked. I know I am so caught up in the church traditions and stuff, and that I'm afraid to let myself go for 100%. Church has always been a big issue for me. Raised in a traditional church where I just couldn't grow in my faith (as for now) and I'm still looking for a church where I can be who I want to be, and where I can grow spiritually and personally. Being in a church where you can grow is such a gift, everybody who reads this, please admire that, because it's not something that just comes a long your path.
I hate to say that the conference was the factor that got me over my faith crisis, of course not, but it did help me to get things straight for me and my relationship with God. I met up with some wonderful people that weekend. I stayed with a couple of friends in a little vacation house. We had fun and it was great to see them again. Great to see how they have grown in their faith, in their relationship with God.
For me it's amazing how God works, he sends me and you to places and brings people on our path. I realised that when I was on my weekend away to London. A month ago I made a last minute decision to go to London to see some friends and go to a party of one of mine and one of their favorite singers: Daniel Bedingfield. I just love his music. I hadn't seen him for more than over a year so it was nice to see him perform again, to meet him again and to just be around my friends. It was at a Daniel Bedingfield concert that I got saved a couple of years ago...or at least chose to live for God. I feel so emberassed to say that, at a Daniel Bedingfield concert of all places but it's funny how God works. After that He put people onto my path that helped me in my way to live for Him!
The next day, sunday, I wanted to go to the Hillsong church in London. I had to go all by myself. I just don't like to go to church all by myself, and normally if I have to go all by myself I just decide not to go, so wrong! But I was in London and I wanted to go to church so I just took the nearest tube to the Dominion theatre. On my way to the theatre I prayed to God that he just wouldn't let me feel so alone. And when I entered the building people started to come up to me and introducing themselves to me. I quickly made friends and I wasn't alone anymore...WOW!
I'm so thankful to God for this. The service at the Hillsong church was amazing. An amazing time of worhip, I danced, clapped and sung! On my way to the Hillsong church I passed a homeless guy who was sleeping on the floor. I felt so bad and I was thinking on how to help those homeless people, because I was suppose to go to a warm church, where it didn't rain inside and where people were hearing God's word and getting to know eachother with a hot cup of coffee in their hands. I felt kind of awkward. I wasn't the only one who was thinking about that because during the sermon the pastor told a similar story about the fact that he passed a homeless guy. And he wanted to get the church in action to help these homeless people, God is just amazing! Please pray for this, not only for the homeless in London, but for the homeless everywhere on this earth.
London was just great. It was great to be there and see something of the history of the city. It was a real blessing to be there. I can go on forever and I actually don't want to close this post but it's getting way too long, and I don't want to make it all too boring:-) So for now: Take care and have a great week! Blessings, Jacoline