Heartache gone?

Past november we burried my brother-in-law. He was only 48 years old.
When I first heard of his death I was relieved. Would this mean that my sister could finally go on with her life? But then after a while pain and tears started to come. I've known my brother-in-law for 19 years. I was 4 when he entered our home. He was a giving person, never knew love and thought he could earn it by giving. Then 6 years ago he started to feel depressed again and his depression took its toll. Two years ago he started to use drugs. He was already addicted to alcohol.
He became a very different person. Abused my sister and their 5 kids and wanted money money money. He almost killed my sister and put a knife in front of her. He went to jail for 3 months and when he came out of jail he started to stalk her and their kids. He didn't want to go to rehab. It was crazy to see him in that state, I couldn't believe what a different person he was. There was no life with him so my sister decided after a long time that divorce was the only option she had left.
They were in the middle of divorcing when he passed away of an heart attack. My 5 nieces and nephews don't have a dad anymore. They have seen him in his sick days and how bad this sounds they were relieved when he died. Isn't that horrible? My sister is still dealing with a lot of heart ache. She doesn't have enough money to get her bills paid and is now on welfare. His side of the family doesn't want to deal with her and her 5 kids after all she has been through. They keep shoving her bills of the funeral she should pay. It makes me mad.

This all has made her stronger but I just wish and pray that things will get better for her and her kids. Please pray for her too.

Not me! Monday

It's time for Not me! Monday again!!

I didn't check MckMama's page (the founder of Not me! Mondays and mycharmingkids.net) every single minute on wednesday to see if her new baby was born.

It wasn't me who ate two chocolat bars in one day... nope definitely no stress for school.

I definitely not went before someone to grab a computer at school! She wasn't first

Not me! Mondays is originally from Mycharmingkids.net. For more Not me! Mondays check out My Charming kids blog

Who's going to be the next president?

On facebook there's quite a war going on “who's going to be the next president?”Some are definitely voting for McCain, some are pro Obama. It's even so bad that people are getting offended if you chose the wrong candidate. Today somebody was offended when I said that Obama is a Christian. She was very rude and said that he was definitely not a Christian.... "he only sits in church, that's all." She became really angry with me. “Nope, he's definitely not a Christian because well he's pro abortion and he's a socialist." How in this world can we judge about someones beliefs? We are not God. Even though you might not agree with this candidate and he doesn't reflect your opinion, it doesn't mean he's not a Christian if he says he is! We're not aloud to judge. Please judge yourself first.

Definition of socialism "Socialism refers to a broad set of economic theories of social organization advocating state or collective ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods, and the creation of an egalitarian society" I don't see any reference to collective ownership although that may help the our poor neighbours that Jesus says we have to love as we love ourselves .Now that's radical socialism!

When I told this person what my choice will be if I had to choose between the two, this person turned to me and madly said “You don't even live in the US” With other words “You're not aloud to have an opinion”. It makes me mad. I've lived in the US, I've worked there. Even though I don't live in the US right now, the next American president will have a global impact. You know, almost every country follows the USA. Clothing, TV programs, food... The US is the trendsetter. Dutch, Australian and Britis troopsh are in Iraq because of the WMD. They never found any.

I live in a liberal country. We have abortion, we have gay marriage, we have legal drugs and we have legal prostitution. I can't say I'm proud of it. Definitely not. Everywhere I go in the world people remind me of it. If I say that I'm from The Netherlands they go “Drugs!!! Red light district!” These rules don't seem to care to a lot of people here, not as much as the outside world does.

I can only say and agree that people overhere are aloud to make choices. Which can be good and bad. There's nobody that goes off to another country to get their unborn aborted. I'm definitely against abortion don't get me wrong, overhere I do vote for a poltical party that's against it. But because we have this law, the abortion of unborn babies has dropped. Which is good. I think if we all invest in information on abortion and why you shouldn't abort instead of making it illegal it will have a much wider and bigger impact. And this is just one thing....I just want to make clear that we all should think outside the box, not just in the box.

Then there's FOX news. As a journalist I get the shivers of that news channel. I've watched it several times and you can just see and notice that FOX isn't objective. News should be objective, they should portray both sides of the story, in this case both president candidates. So I get really mad when people just believe FOX news. I mean can't you see that they are indoctrinating you with their beliefs. I feel I'm getting way to caught up in this president race... which is bad. I'm glad when this whole campaign is over.

Today a friend of mine posted a video of John Piper on her facebook profile. I think what Piper says is so true. Please watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFvlfc2VkN0

My friend also said (and I agree with her): "They need to look at all the issues, pray and ask God how He wants them to vote. Not listen to or read what other Christians tell them to do . God is Sovreign and He will have His man in for His purposes !!!What happens tomorrow in the US will affect the world.But praise God ,He is in control"

What my choice will be if I was able to vote....it would be number 3 ;-)

He’s not finished with me yet

I recently heard this song and it reminded me of me. Every part of the song is just me. Except the first part. I wasn't born in Tennessee and definitely not in July. I was just born in The Netherlands in mid january. But yes the doctors did say I was lucky to be alive.
I was trouble since the day I was born and I'm still trouble....and school..
Well everybody knows I have trouble with school!! haha, oh and what I did in highschool...yeah I broke the rules and I definitely talked too much. Singing is not one of my dreams. God didn't gave me a voice to be a singer. I love to sing a long with my ipod, definitely. But I can truly say I can't sing. I don't play any instrument (except the Gibson toy). My dream is God's dream for me. I know I do/did the right education. I'm sure God will take me somewhere. I'm ready and I'm sure! There's still hope for me ;-)

Brandon Heath- Wait and see
I was born in Tennessee, late July humidity doctors said I was lucky to be alive
I’ve Been troubled since the day that I got here, trouble to the day I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

There is hope, for me yeah, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school. Talked too much, broke the rules
My teachers thought I was a hopeless fool all right.
I don’t know how but I made it through, it’s one of those things you gotta do
I always had a knack for telling the truth.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet

Still wonerin’ why I’m here. Still wrestling with my fear
But oh….He’s up to something,
And the farther out I go, I’ve seen enough to know that I’m not here for nothin’
He’s up to somethin’

So here’s my time to be a man, follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin’ where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems, but singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight.

There is hope, for me yet, because God won’t forget, all the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see, he’s not finished with me yet, he’s not finished with me yet
He’s not finished with me yet, He’s not finished with me yet


The pumpkins I carved last year and this year!!

Not me! Monday

It's time for Not me! Monday again!!

I didn't buy a toy guitar for my nephews birthday and decided that I liked it better, nope not me.

It wasn't me who walked out of a store with three Gibson toy guitars, because friends wanted to have them too. No not kids but adults! Definitely not me who bought those three guitars.

It wasn't me who dropped the bag with the three guitars while walking through the door of the store. What caused quite some commotion and attention. Definitely not me.

It wasn't me who went grocery shopping and decided to buy complicated ingredients for a complicated meal. Then decided at home that I didn't want to cook so I grabbed one of the meals my fridge holds and warmed that one up...Nope definitely not me.

Not me! Mondays is originally from Mycharmingkids.net. For more Not me! Mondays check out My Charming kids blog


November and December are busy months in my family. Everyone is celebrating their birthday and then there's of course Christmas and New Years! Before we know it, it's January and I'm already celebrating my birthday. I'm getting old.

Last year around this time I was in the USA. I love Halloween and I always wanted to go to one of the Halloween parties and I did last year. My costume was terrible... I was a witch but I looked like a Goth! I had fun anyways. Also I learned to carve a pumpkin. For a Dutch city girl, that's quite something!! So about three weeks ago my boyfriend and I bought a pumpkin and carved it together. He did the nasty party (emptying the pumpkin) and I did the best part (which was carving). This weekend we bought again some pumpkins at a farm near his hometown and I did it again with his sister!! He ran off just in time so we had to empty the pumpkins ourselves...But we had a lot of fun!! Will post some pictures when I get them.
Here are a two from last year!

Other than that everything goes really well. I'm looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. At least I have enough christian christmas worship albums to play! I've already started. My personal favorite is: Casting Crowns!

Skinny jeans on a wide tree

I bought myself a pair of skinny jeans.... yes black ones!! I've always thought (I still think) that these pair of pants were made for girls who have a figure like a stick. I'm definitely not a stick...compare my figure with a big tree. A small wide tree.

Anyways....I dove in and got myself a pair. Actually it does look kind of weird on my body. It looks much better with a large sweater and my Ugg boots. So sorry for all the people who think 'big' women can't wear skinny jeans... I'm going to wear them anyways!

I'm in love with this journal....

Seriously, I think that this is one of the most creative journals I've ever seen. I really want one myself. Joy Deeann Carson is a Nashville, TN based artist ans she makes incredible paintings and journals. Check out her site here.

Luckily the christmas holidays are coming up and my birthday!!!

My new toy

It's my nephews birthday on thursday, he's turning 5. So yesterday I went into a toystore to see if I could find him a gift. I ran into the Gibson Power Tour Guitar. I was suprised...Gibson makes toys!!!??!!!
So because I can't make it to his birthday on thursday I gave him the present yesterday. He liked it but I guess my brother in law and I liked it better. We played the guitar for hours... Eventually I decided...( a bit hard to admit) to buy one myself.

Now I'm rocking away on my new Gibson toy guitar... yay BABY!

Here's a video I found on youtube, I'm certainly not the only adult who likes this thing:

Not me! Monday

No it wasn't me who ran outside the house when I heard this big bang...it wasn't me who stared for a few minutes what was going on down the street and it wasn't me who looked to see how many neighbours were actually staring at a crashed car. Nope...not me.

Not my bag. It wasn't my bag who hit the person next to me on the train. Nope not my bag.

I haven't been watching tv for almost 3 hours now, nope definitely not me.

I didn't spill candle wax on my new table cloth. Nope. It wasn't me who ruined the last table cloth, so it was definitely not me who ruined the new one.

Not me! Mondays is originally from Mycharmingkids.net. For more Not me! Mondays check out My Charming kids blog

Are you the perfect christian?

Today I was sitting in the train overthinking some stuff. I know this doesn't sound interesting but in some way or somehow this came to my mind. "If you think you're the perfect christian, then you're probably not."

How many of us can relate to this?? I once thought I was on the right path and that I was indeed a good christian. But knowing myself, knowing who I am, and knowing who I am in God I can truly say I'm NOT. What a relief that God loves me!

Shout unto God

I first saw a video like this at a christian concert. I thought it was amazing. I personally believe that every christian concert should start like this ;-)

New video's on my Youtube channel

Today I've uploaded a few video's to my Youtube Channel. Two Leeland video's and two Chris Tomlin video's. Check em out here

Check out this new Tomlin promo video:


This past weekend I was in Belgium with three of my friends. We visited Antwerp and had so much fun! Here are a few pictures.

The Irish Matchmaker

As a journalism-student I'm always interested in new TV-programs. Recently I discovered a new addition to the 'reality dating on TV kind of shows', it's called The Irish Matchmaker.

For all you Irish people out there...I'll explain.

Three Dutch single women in their mid-thirties go to Ireland to find the love of their life. With the help of an Irish matchmaker they go on dates. The three women travel all over Ireland and find their dates on different places in Ireland. In the end they have to choose a second date with one of the Irish men.

Normally I zap away when this kind of TV program is on. But this time around I'm hooked. Not only because I have friends living in Ireland but also it's interesting to see how a Dutch gal and an Irish bloke go together. Culture is interesting!
You can watch episodes here.

Remembering: Loren & Thomas

Two people I've met in the past years have passed away suddenly in the last three weeks. Both times I was very shocked to hear the news.
A friend from Maine passed away three weeks ago. Loren st. Cyr was only 20 when he passed away. I remember him as a quiet kid. He was best friends with Max and the two of them were always up to no good. Thinking of him gives me a big smile. Although I haven't seen him recenlty I find it hard to believe he's gone.

Then this week I got the news that Thomas Skaar passed away on monday. Thomas was the sound-engineer for Compass in Norway and I met him this summer. He was a funny guy and did a great job for Compass.

Both deaths are very tragic. Both guys were really young. It makes me think about life and why this happends. Why God let this happen.

Please pray for the family and friends of Loren st. Cyr and Thomas Skaar.

Matthew 11:25-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.


The winner of the Tomlin cd is confirmed and has gotten the cd in the mail.

Thanks for all the participants!

Hello Love!

Walking into a christian bookstore you can't miss Chris Tomlin's latest cd 'Hello Love'. The big letters of the word 'Love' draw your attention. Following his 2006 RIAA Gold-certified record, See the Morning, Tomlin's latest project communicates what he describes as the "need to introduce ourselves to love again." Produced by Ed Cash (Steven Curtis Chapman, Starfield, Bethany Dillon), Hello Love gives the Church a voice to worship their Creator.

'Sing, Sing, Sing' is one of the songs that can be described as a happy sing-a-long song. You can't sit still and just have to sing and jump along. Although the song will be live on stage better that on a n album 'Sing, Sing, Sing' is a good start for this new album.
When Tomlin was playing at a concert in Belfast, Nothern-Ireland he came across Bluetree's song 'God of this city'. The chorus particularly was strong 'You'r the God of this city, You're the God of this nation' and so he decided to introduce it at Passion conferences. A christian youth movement he's involved in. Since, this song has been igniting university students around the world to live for the name and renown of Jesus.

The title track 'Love' is sung with the Watoto Children's Choir, This timeless song about love. could be played on secular radiostation's too. The choir adds a cultural flavor too it, which makes the song even more stronger. "Love is the answer. Love will find a way. When we love one another, it's a brighter day."

'I will rise' is a beautiful victorious anthem about how Jesus overcame the grave. This song is powerful and gives strenght to people who go through difficult times.

My ultimate favorite is 'Praise the Father, Praise the son'. This song, written by Chris Tomlin and Ed Cash, was added when recording of the album was almost finished. It's an old hymn that has been changed for todays worship. It's a song that can be sung in churches across the globe. The song is strong yet simple.

Many of us know that Tomlin is one of the best-selling christian recording artist and has several radio hits and Dove award to his credit. He has written some of the most passionate contemporary worship songs and has played a vital role in he contemporary worship movement. All of this isn't what matters to Tomlin: "I've always wanted to write songs to give voice to people to worship God, that's my heart. In the end of the day, what ever awards come my way, I want these songs to reach generations of people to worship Him and to just really open their hearts to sing His praises. Maybe long after I'm gone, maybe when these songs lasts, when people sing it and pass it down, that would be amazing"

That wish and hope is becoming true. Tomlin's songs are sung all over the world and have entered many church buildings. I believe that this album will definitely be picked up by fellow worshippers.

Win HELLO LOVE (Tomlin)


I have one copy of Chris Tomlin's new cd 'Hello Love' to give-away. Everyone can enter this competition (no matter where you live) All you have to do is e-mail me and tell me why you want this cd. The most original e-mail will win! Draw, photoshop or just write down why you want it.

The contest has ended!

Currently reading...

This guy is a genius....

and his name is Jeremy Cowart.

I met this guy at Passion Paris and Passion London back in june. He was making photo's for Passion and he left an impression on me. I never heard of him or actually read about him until I googled him. Well he's the guy behind most of the photo's you probably know and I can proudly say...he photographed me! :-)

.....................notice Crowder??

Win the new Tomlin cd!!

EMI CMG have been so kind to send me the new Tomlin cd to give away to one of my blogreaders.

Stay tuned this week for the cd review and I'll tell you how you can win this cd!!

Chris Tomlin week!

Yes, I made this week into Chris Tomlin week. You just can't get around the fact that Chris Tomlin released a new cd. So why not support it?! Look around on my blog and enjoy all the new promo banners and click on it!

Blackbird cover

My friend Sarah from Austin, Texas moved to Germany this summer to live as a newlywed with her husband John. John serves in the US army as a soldier. Anyway John recorded a cover of the Beatles song Blackbird a few months ago and I thought I would share it with you. I love it and I personally think he did a great job.

New Phone

Here's my new gadget. I wanted an iphone but there are so many problems with it here in my home country that I decided to take another phone. This is my new phone!!! It's a Samsung Touchwiz F480...but from what I've heard it's called a Samsung Tocco in the UK and a Samsung Player Style in France. WEIRD!
Anyways...this is my new phone for this upcoming year and I love it!! It has a touchscreen and a 5 megapixel camera...NICE!

How can something as Passion get so big???

At the moment I’m working on my dissertation about Christian youth movements in the USA. I hope to finish my journalism studies by the end of this year. I’m esp. looking into Passion conferences and their growth over the past few years. Marketing strategies etc.

So if any of you can tell me a bit about:
-the history of Christian youth movements in the USA
-the percentage of Christian young people in the US (is it growing?)
-do more young people attend Christian concerts/ conferences now than they used to?
-the history of worship leaders, is this a modern thing?
-how can something as Passion get so big in the US?

Please let me know! I’ve done my research but I would like to know MORE!
Please e-mail me here.


The Flevo Festival rocked. This year: again part of the web team. I worked my butt off, so unfortunately I couldn’t really enjoy much music but I did get to see a few bands! My list of interviews was very satisfying this time around. On Thursday I had an interview with a band called Starfield. I must admit I like their music a lot so I was pretty stoked about this interview. Unfortunately it was cancelled due some delay. But I was able to go to the press conference. Then on Friday I had Tim Hughes and Fireflight. Tim Hughes was great. It was a short interview but I had the chance to ask him about his writing process and just about his life as worship leader. He’s a great guy. Then in the afternoon a band called Fireflight. Never heard of them but supposedly they have written the title song for a TV-show called Bionic Woman. I think you can compare them with the band Paramore. Pretty solid Christian rock music
Then on Saturday I got to interview four guys from Chicago: Flatfoot 56. A punk rock band. They were really nice and seriously even though people asked them the same questions over and over again they were not bored at all. Their concert was pretty awesome too. Not my kind of music but they know how to play! We had fun watching them.

So highlights of the festival: I think New World Son was definitely rocking the stage. I liked Tim Hughes, although it seemed like he played his set list and then noticed there was still time left so he started his set list again. I loved Starfield. Oh and definitely watching Flatfoot 56 made my whole week. I’m sad that I missed Philippa Hanna. There was less worship music this year, understandable because it is a Christian rock festival but it would have been cool to see Chris Tomlin again up on main stage.