brokeness and pursuing dreams

Brokeness and pursuing dreams, a big title isn't it? Well for me those words are BIG. I have been feeling so broken over the past years and I still continue to feel that way. I can explain why and write an enormous blog, but i rather leave it with a few sentences. I think lots of people were bullied when they were younger...well I was one of them. I got bullied for all the wrong reasons...My parents were quite old, I was already an aunt, my teeth were imperfect...and so on. I was a strong girl back then and couldn't care at all. But it seems like I care now, instead of back then... I'm not happy with where I am now. Not happy with my looks, and not happy with my life. Sounds depressive but I'm not depressed. But sometimes I wish that life isn't this difficult.
But i think by not having an easy life I'm growing so much deeper in my relationship with God.
I still want to pursue my dreams of working for a ministry in a different country. I don't know if God has this dream for me too, and I don't even know where to start. But first I think I need to grow more & more in order to fulfill that dream!

"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor."- Proverbs 21:21

2 comments:

Ineke's journey said...

Hey Gurl,

thanx for sharing this with us... I'm really sorry for what you've been struggling with, but know that its those hard times that will help you grow all the more. I love you gurl and I see you as a beautiful person on her way to do amazing things for God.

Coming to hang with us tonight? We're all home :)

hugz,
Ineke

zephaniah3:17 said...

Jacoline...I was checking out your blog for the first time and was immediately drawn to this post. I have struggled with so many of these feelings myself...feelings that have deep roots in childhood.

Hear this, my friend...you are a beautiful daughter of the King. You are beautiful beyond description in His eyes. Your life has more purpose than you even know, because it is His.

Rest in these truths, and continue to grow in Him. True satisfaction comes only from Christ in you, the hope of glory.

See you on Kimmer's blog! Feel free to stop by mine any time.

Peace,
Lisa

P.S. I think you're quite beautiful, too. :)